Earth Wisdom Tarot Sacred Art

Back to Everyday Life

in Death & Dying, Family

Thank you, each and every one of you, who took the time to send blessings via comments or emails or through the ethers.   The past two weeks have been a long, intense break from everyday life.  I’m just beginning to slow down and pick up the pieces of my life again.

This past week was taken up with phone calls to notify far flung friends and family of my dad’s passing, planning and holding two memorials (one on a Coast Guard search-and-rescue boat in the middle of the bay), and a house full of friends and family from out of town.  After my son and daughter-in-law caught their flight back to Maine, and Craig’s parents headed back to eastern Washington, the rest of us retreated to our favorite spot on the river out in the county for a Lammas camping weekend.  This campout had been planned for months, so the timing was especially fortuitous.   We swam in the river, basked in the sun. walked the labyrinth mowed into the waist high grass, drummed around the fire, watched the moonrise, gave each other backrubs and just, in general, recuperated — especially those of us who were on the “front lines” of caring for my dad in his last days then preparing for the memorials.  I came home yesterday and slept like the proverbial log, after two weeks of very little sleep.

I was chagrined to discover that I am not having “spiritual” dreams at all — no lovely intimations of the afterlife or visitation-type dreams.  Instead my dreams are full of stress, rerunning the last few anxiety-ridden weeks and days of my dad’s life, seeing him in distress over and over again.  I suppose that is to be expected.   I still have a lot to process.

For now, I have a mountain of thank you notes to write, paperwork to take care of, work for clients to get caught up on, and boxes of Dad’s things to sort.  Then I hope to rearrange my schedule so that all the time I used to spend traveling to town and looking after my father can now be used to focus on finishing the Gaian Tarot.  Blessed be.

Thoughtful, sparkling comments. . .

  • Lunaea Mon - Aug 07th 2006 11:43 am

    After my mom died last fall, in the first few hours after her death I had one brief dream visitation — I was with my mother and she was putting on the batik top I had been wearing that day, sort of “walking a mile in my shoes” kind of feeling. She was much smaller than I, so the top was very big on her, but she was pleased to understand me a little better by wearing my clothes. I woke from that dream feeling so blessed that my mother, in passing over, let me know that she understood me better now than she did when she was wearing her own “clothes” — her earthly form. I share this with you now because after that first day’s dream, it was nonstop teeth-grinding and flailing and nightmares and nightly sleep drama for a long time afterwards — and I wasn’t even my mother’s caretaker! But in letting the tension down, it was like some kind of psychic detox had to happen for a while. It passed, thank Goddess, but maybe the more you can do your detoxing in your waking hours, the quicker it will go for you. I was in denial about my own tension and anxiety, since I wasn’t physically present with my mother until the very end, but it was there nonetheless, maybe more so because I couldn’t DO anything for her. Just keep reminding yourself of that blissful smile when your father saw the new baby. Now HE is the blissful baby, perhaps!

  • Katherine Mon - Aug 07th 2006 10:35 pm

    Oh, my goodness–I used to read your blog, but had stopped, and all of a sudden had a feeling I should look again. I am so sorry for the passing of your father. What a lot to go through–no wonder you are exhausted! I hope that your dreams improve, and are in some way helpful for your grief. I would love to send healing thoughts your way, if you permit. I used to live near the San Juans, and love reading about your island life and your art. Wishing you peace in this hard time,

  • Michelle Tue - Aug 08th 2006 7:04 am

    Hi Joanna,
    I wanted to say how sorry I am with your father’s passing. I wanted to say how lucky you were to have such a good father and be able to be with him to the end.
    When my father passed four years ago, I had no idea he was sick. I wasn’t told of his death until after he was buried. We lost touch more on his part than mine. Though I still haven’t fully dreamed about my father.Sometimes I feel his presence and smell his pipe around me. The healing dreams will come for you.
    Your father will always be with you. That is true. You’ll feel him around you especially when you least expect it.
    Please take care of yourself. Remember love never ends.

  • Karen Brighton Tue - Aug 08th 2006 12:07 pm

    You have been in my thoughts these past weeks. Blessings and peace to you as you find your way back into the everyday world. The path back from the doors of life and death is traveled by each of us in our own unique way.

  • Julie in Virginia Fri - Mar 09th 2007 5:34 am

    Dear Joanna,
    I have been slowly meandering through the archives here – enjoying it the way I do a novel that I don’t want to end. I knew this time was coming – yet when I read your posts around the time of his passing – I felt fresh waves of grief for my father’s passing.
    My heart sends a hug to your heart.
    My father crossed over in January 2004 and he appeared to me in dreams several times – but it was months later as I was finally trying to make sense of my life without him.
    It was very comforting to read and experience this again. I feel a new layer of healing from knowing that there are other father’s daughter out in the world who loved deeply.
    Words feel clumsy but my heart is full of gratitude this morning.
    Thank you for sharing this tender passage in your lives.

  • sanshin Tue - Jul 17th 2012 1:06 am

    hi Joanna,
    been shifting the last few weeks so i have not been on line, then this evening I hit your blog only to find that your father had passed away, i’m very sorry to hear of his passing, i feel your lost as both my mother & father have also passed over. but while we still have our memories, they will always be alive to one. love and peace to you and your family joanna,
    take care always.

    • Joanna Wed - Jul 18th 2012 8:47 pm

      Thank you Sanshin . . . he passed away six years ago this month. We were so blessed to have him in our lives.
      Hugs and Blessings to you!